De Paso ando

The return is imminent, but the growth was relevant and necessary.

After some time of significant changes and personal work, I return to this space that I created on a plane in 2018, and which I am revisiting on another plane in 2026.

I've always been struck by the difference between doing something out of habit or a superficial perception of its true benefits, and doing it with intention and a clear purpose. This concern became very pronounced when I finished high school and the big questions about my identity began: who I am and where I'm going. I questioned what I liked, what I valued, what I wanted to do with my time and my life. One day I realized that we are all in this process, but it doesn't just come with age; it arises from intention, from exploring, from learning, from reflecting, from putting things into perspective, and from taking action.

Conversing, asking questions, and writing have been constants in my life. I have countless memories. I remember filling entire notebooks with made-up letters when I couldn't write. When I was taken to a toy store, I always ended up at the pencil and notebook section. From a young age, I understood that my favourite place in the toy store was the sports and paper section. Yes, I played with Barbies, but when I was 10, after my grandmother bought me the last one, all those lifeless faces in the display window started to bother me a little. My favourite places to go shopping and fulfil my desires ended up being bookshops, stationery stores, and haberdasheries, especially the one my mum took me to every year to buy school supplies. I still have and use my pencil case, which holds my coloured pencils, which I also still have. Colouring at this stage of my life is no surprise at all.

What happened to that girl? She grew up, and so did her insecurities, limiting her self-expression and her ability to actively pursue and nurture the inclinations she often perceived as exclusionary. During her primary and secondary school years, the year was filled with competitions and comparisons, where she witnessed the stark and unequal valuation of children's and teenagers' talents and abilities. Failing became her greatest fear, preventing her from fully enjoying the acquisition of knowledge, a privilege and a pleasure in itself. "Good" grades became her guiding principle. And regarding her physical appearance, imagine a girl without the tools to identify and navigate the discrimination she faced for not resembling the girls in magazines.

Where is that little girl now? She has had the joy and privilege of continuing to grow, of leaving behind what she packed in her suitcase that no longer served her. She has experienced two migration processes in six years and has been outside the context in which she grew up. Now she lives in a larger world, one that travels with her, where the discomfort and challenges she has faced have helped her build. A world where she doesn't have to have all the answers, where her identity is more than just one or two facets of her life, a world where she writes with greater freedom without fear of getting lost in her own head, her thoughts, on one or many pages. As for her physical appearance, she takes more photos of herself than the girls in magazines, and loving her hair and her body are her conquests.

The concept of "De Paso" (On the way) has always been a constructive critique or reflection on experiences from my own life or those of the people around me. It's about those things that call to us and invite us to think about our journey through life. That's its essence, but since I'm not the same person, though I remain the same in essence, I will continue writing reflections on daily life and current social issues, while expanding my own perspective alongside you. I want this to be a mutual encouragement to pause, enjoy the pleasure and capacity to think, and interact with ideas and thoughts.

Join me and share!

Glory to God for everything.